Careless
by RGLH2017GG
Summary: She had always been careful but why did she decide to be careless this one night with him? AYITL


**A/N: This is just something I thought of. I hope you enjoy it!**

Since I was sixteen and had my first boyfriend, my mother put me on birth control. She wanted to make sure that I wouldn't get pregnant unplanned like she had. She wanted me to go to college and become the foreign correspondent I wanted to be. She didn't have to worry about Dean though. I wasn't interested in having sex with him, at least not during high school. Then there was Jess. I had gotten closer to having sex with him but again I wasn't ready to even have the possibility of getting pregnant by him.

Freshman year of college had come and gone and I had been extremely lonely that I had gone back to Dean when he said he was having problems with his wife. I was so stupid but I was so happy I was still on birth control. I did not want to have his child and be tied to him for the rest of my life.

We stayed together for a while and I was able to get more comfortable being naked around a guy and having sex but I knew that something was missing. Then I met Logan. He was instantly attractive and I knew he had a reputation for pleasing the ladies in bed. He was smart, kept up with my pop culture knowledge and could banter with me. He had everything that Dean and Jess didn't have. He had an excitement for life that I was so intrigued and attracted to. I first realized it at the LDB gathering and then when he performed that skit in my class. Although I was upset at the time, when I looked back on it I envied his lack of care for everything.

I approached him at my grandparent's vow renewal and made a move to enter into a no strings attached relationship. Unfortunately my parents and Luke had interrupted us. I had wanted to see how different sex could be since my only experience had been with Dean.

The next time I approached him he invited me to a poker game. Again, I was let down. However, when we finally did have sex for the first time after we had gone out for chinese food with his friends, it was better than I could have imagined. He had been so passionate but gentle at the same time. The more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him and every time we slept together I felt connected to him. Eventually I couldn't do casual anymore and I told him so but he told me he wanted to be exclusive with me and I couldn't believe it.

Our relationship had been passionate, supportive, and dramatic all in one. We argued and we made up. He was the only man I had trusted myself fully with and that I risked getting pregnant with. I had always been on birth control so we would more often than not have sex without protection. We trusted each other and we had discussed my birth control and what would happen if I accidentally got pregnant. He was the only man I had truly loved. My only real adult relationship. I had envisioned a future with him but when he proposed I wasn't ready so he ended it.

I spent the next 8 years traveling as a freelance journalist and dating random guys that could never compete with Logan. I didn't want to look because I knew I would never find anyone that made me feel like Logan did. However, I made sure that I always had condoms and was on birth control. I didn't want to risk it.

Then one day, while doing a piece in Hamburg, I ran into Logan. I couldn't believe it. We entered into a casual relationship again but we saw each other quite regularly either in London or in New York. I was dating a guy named Paul back in New York but I didn't see him very often and we were definitely not sleeping together. Logan was seeing someone named Odette who his parents had set him up with but he also was not sleeping with her.

A year into our casual relationship, he told me that his parents were forcing an engagement. I couldn't believe that I had fallen back in love with him and he was engaged to another woman. I asked him if that meant we were over and he said that he didn't think anyone or anything could keep us apart. I stayed with him and we continued with our Vegas Agreement but as time progressed, it became more difficult.

One day it came to a head as I found out that Odette had moved in and I could no longer keep our arrangement. I had fallen for him again and felt like we had been in a relationship and this had been a reality check. He would never be mine no matter how much I wanted to be tied to him. I called him and ended things. In an effort to stay celibate so I could figure out my life, I went off birth control.

About a month later, Logan and the boys flew out to Hartford where they took me on a night that I would always remember. At the end of the night I headed up to the room with Logan where he proceeded to rip my clothes off. As he got ready to enter me, he went without a condom as he figured I had been on the pill. He had always liked to feel himself inside of me without a barrier. He admitted that I was the only one he had ever done this with. I didn't stop him even though I knew I should because even if he couldn't be mine, I wanted to have a piece of him forever. We made love that night several times, each time without a condom, each time I hoped I would get pregnant.

Two months passed and I had yet to have my period. I didn't know for certain so on the eve of my mother's wedding I took 5 pregnancy tests. Each test told me what I had hoped for. I was pregnant with Logan's baby.

I broke the news to my mother after her wedding and then as I sat at the gazebo I made the phone call. I didn't want or expect anything from him. I had gotten what I wanted from him, a piece of him.

I called him and told him I was pregnant and that I didn't need anything. He told me he would be here tomorrow and that I better not run. I had met him at my grandparents house in Hartford since Emily was in Nantucket.

Before I could even say anything he walked in and pulled me into a searing kiss before telling me he loved me and always had. He said he had already made a pro con list of why I should be with him so that I didn't have to. I couldn't help but laugh as he knew me so well.

He told me that he had broken things off with Odette and had told his father that effective immediately he would be transferring to the New York Office. He told me that he had loved me for a decade and that this was their last chance to make things work and that he wasn't going to let go of me again.

We spent the night going through the list, talking about the last ten years and what we wanted out of the future. When we woke the next afternoon, I found him watching me. He had a ring on the pillow and proposed. He had bought the ring 2 years ago when we ran into each other because he always believed I was the one. I said yes.

At six months pregnant I walked down the aisle to marry the man I love. It was perfect as it was a small intimate wedding. My mother had not been pleased as she thought we were just marrying because I was pregnant but I knew that if I hadn't gotten over logan in the last ten years, I never would. He was the one and I couldn't believe that I finally got him.

Three months later I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy who we named Alexander Richard Huntzberger. I had finally gotten everything I wanted and more and all because I wanted to be careless for once. I had gotten the whole of Logan, not just a piece, and he had gotten the whole of me. Sometimes you have to be careless in order to get what you want.


End file.
